Should I be jealous??

By nature I don’t get jealous for anything on earth. But these days I feel otherwise. I am not getting any reason to be happy about. Same work (I mean no work), same faces, same bus stop, same seat (I have started changing seats nowadays), the girl which I liked looks boring now. After work (which I mean no work), when I return home, same faces, same bus stop, same seat (I have started changing seats nowadays), the girl which I liked looks boring now (she is not the morning one). I come home, have eggs and milk, and hit gym to remove my frustrations. But guess what, even gym seems to be of no use. For whom am I working out so much? I sleep alone!!

I feel sad when I see the current location of a colleague joined much after me, not an Indian location. I do check the properties as well, just to make sure that he/she is not a lateral. Some guys don’t are not even in the Full time internet users list. What wrong have I done? But still I am fine, and least bothered about it. It’s just a frustration for a day and nothing else.

I had made a statement on Paggy’s marriage!!! “Baal vivah ho raha hai yahan”… I guess Paggy must be having a good time now. He doesn’t have 6 or 8 packs like me, but still whatever he has, I guess is much appreciated!! We doubted on his ability, but he did taped my mouth when I saw him reading that book!! Dude he was getting prepared!!! Am I jealous of him?? If so I have same feeling about my brother as well. Often when I get up to drink water, I hear some unclear sounds from my brothers bed room (he is married, recently). I look at the watch; its 3:00 a.m!! And I can never be jealous of my brother. But yet I am not happy. I am not happy of my own. I have no idea what and where my life is taking me.

The guard in our apartment never forgets to give me a smile. He stays in a small 10*10 square feet room with his wife and 3 children’s (all daughters; I guess in lieu of getting son, he managed 3 daughters. He has given up now!!). But still he is happy in his world and has a motive in life. He gets a salary of around 5000 bucks and he talks about his children’s education, about their marriage, about their future. I was thinking about the money we spend in parties, those branded shoes, t-shirts nothing less than a couple of thousands. We spend as much in a day, which he earns in a month. I earn much more than him, yet he is happier than me. Should I be jealous of him?

Our maid wants her son to be an engineer. She wants him to be in the top college. Although she doesn’t know even the college names, yet she has a vision. He correctly know why she has to work hard. Her son also knows what he wants in life. He wants to have a huge house for his mother, a car and so he wants to work hard. All I can look at him, and look inside me. I have everything which he doesn’t have now, yet he has a spark in his eyes. Should I be jealous of him?

My mom says, I am wasting life. Dad says I am good for nothing. Brother says I am still young and not to be serious; brother I am 25!!! But will someone even think of guiding me. If I am off track, will someone put me on the right track? I am actually missing out the basic happiness of life. I got everything when I never wanted it, and now I don’t find the meaning behind it.

A friend of mine says, I need a life partner to change my world. Does she mean, I have to get married? Ya, at least, I’ll be happy in nights; like Paggy and my brother, but not really prepared for it. Don’t wanna go on a roller coaster ride, when my life itself is riding one. All I want to know how to be happy and not pretend to be.

I am actually missing a lot in life:

My school days
My engineering gang
Pune office friends
My room mates
Teachers whisky…hick!!
Kingfisher strong..hick…hicks!!
Gold flake mild
Tangdi kabab
Hyderabadi biryani
Nachos
Masala dosa for 160/- bucks
Choco Ice box…

I need a wife!!!


© Vinay Vernekar


Disclaimer: Everything mentioned here is just for fun and of course for a little bit gyan. Not intended to hurt any soul living or dead.